ECMOA End of the Year Shenanigans for the month of May

I’m being lazy and am just going to break this down by month. By the way, as I write this, it is like 109 degrees outside, and 92 degrees inside my non-air conditioned house. I am that dedicated. I’m also watching Sex Decoys: Love Stings on Hulu. I feel like a unpaid advertisement for this TV show judging by the number of people I have told about this show. It is an absolute train wreck of a show. It follows Sandra Hope who runs a private investigator business which specializes in catching people suspected of cheating on their significant others.


Sandra uses her three daughters as decoys in the stings and wants her agency to be a family business. The older two daughters, Kashmir and Jasmine are part-time strippers. The youngest daughter is not a stripper probably only because she is not old enough to get into a bar. Oh, by the way her name is Xanadu. XANADU! ! ! Seriously! ! ! For those who don’t know, Xanadu is the name of the gigantic house/estate in Citizen Kane where the main character, Charles Kane, lives out his final days and where the infamous Rosebud sled is burned up at the end of the film. Citizen Kane is actually a really good movie, but like The Godfather, it’s best to be kind of doing something else while you’re watching it like ironing or writing thank you cards. For children of the 70s and 80s, Xanadu is the title of a supposedly horrific—as in horrible, not horror—film from 1980 staring Olivia Newton-John. I haven’t seen it, but everyone says it’s terrible. There are a bunch of muses, Gene Kelly is in it, and I can’t fathom why. Here’s the plot summary from IMDb:

The Greek muses incarnate themselves on Earth to inspire men to achieve. One of them, incarnated as a girl named Kira, encounters an artist named Sonny Malone. With the help of Danny McGuire, a man Kira had inspired forty years earlier, Sonny builds a huge disco roller rink.




Sometimes I miss the 80s. I want to see a movie with a culmination of the construction of a giant disco roller rink. Excuse me while I add it to my Netflix queue. I do believe I need to figure out a way I can justify showing this in class. It sounds kind of terribly awesome. Anyway, XANADU! I’m guessing that Sandra named her daughter after the Olivia Newton-John movie, not after the symbolic Xanadu from the greatest film of all time, as least according to every “Greatest Films of All Time” list that has ever been made.

Alas, I have digressed. Watch the show if you want to see a woman with scary amounts of collagen in her lips whore out her own daughters for the sake of catching really sleazy guys cheating on their girlfriends. I am warning you though, it just might suck you in. It’s a vortex of brain-numbing, why-am-I-watching-this-crap? awesomeness.

On to the moments!

Moment 1:
My Honors kids had a portion of their Julius Caesar exam which asked them to identify who said a quote and the context of the quote. Here are some excerpts from brilliant answers.

“Cassius, in his typical fashion, is having himself a pity party.”

“Murellus is disgusted by how the Romans quickly turned their backs on Pompey and followed Caesar’s new reign—SHINY!!!”

“This shows how ADD and childish the people of Rome are.”

“Caesar is talking to Antony about the kind of men he wants on his council. He doesn’t want men who think for themselves, rather ones that sit back and agree with his ideas. Like Hugh Hefner and the Playboy girls.”

Moment 2:
This time around in the Shakespeare unit, the students were asked to write a paragraph explaining whether or not they had any sympathy for the characters of Macbeth by the end of the play. More excerpts from their answers.

“Well, I guess I really feel sorry for Macbeth because his wife is a crazy woman that is udeserving and likes to kill for her own sick pleasure. I’m also happy that Lady Macbeth dies and has to suffer. So basically, I feel like you. (me, Havig) Ahahahahahaha.”

“I feel zero sympathy. I have a heart like Havig toward Macbeth.”

“He’s (Macbeth) a big boy, and he should act more like it.”

Moment 3:
Here are some freshman quotes:

“So it’s like bedazzling?”
student on the pinking of shoes in Romeo & Juliet. Pinking is punching little designs in one’s shoes.

Havig, handing out R&J packet: “I have a present for you.”
Student: “Can I re-gift it?”

Moment 4:
Here are some sophomore moments:

My third period class decided that Macbeth, the last piece of literature that we read this year was the perfect culmination of the class because it incorporated prostitutes and dead babies. Nearly every piece of literature that we read had a hooker in it, and for some reason we had some on-going dead baby joke conversations. I love my job.

I was chatting with my third period class about the movie I had seen the night before, Premonition staring Sandra Bullock. The movie itself isn’t really all that great, but the gag reel offers one of the best moments recorded on film. I really wanted to show the clip to the class, but I had already sent back the movie. Fortunately, a student’s mom loves the movie, and they had it at home. Thanks to Kelly, the class was able to watch the clip.

It is worth a rental just to watch the clip. I don’t want to spoil your experience in watching it, but imagine this: Sandra Bullock running toward a flaming car accident yelling for her husband + prop which is basically the head of her dead husband + CPR = hilarity. It made me love Sandra Bullock even more than I had before.

I’m still trying to get the awesome pictures that the students drew to upload. I’ll try to get those up soon.

Try to stay out of the heat!

You Have to Watch This

I would be a terrible person if I did not expose as many people as possible to this amazing video. The idea behind Literal Videos is what would videos be like if the lyrics matched what was actually happening in the video. Not only do I love, love, LOVE Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart, but the video is hilarious. It is one of those epic, this-doesn't-really-make-any-sense-to-me-at-all video concepts. (I'm calling you out Meatloaf and Celine Dion and your running around in the pseudo-castle with way too many candles video movies.)



Credit those who brought us this example of awesomeness: dascottjr

Remember, only 7 days left!

ECMOA for the Weeks of April 6th-17th

Okay, I will admit that I am a total slacker when it comes to posting on the ol’ blog. I promise you, however, that the wait will be worth it as I have some incredible moments coming up from the months of April ‘till June. I even have some student generated illustrations and some comics that are absolutely amazing. Enjoy!

English I
Moment 1:
The freshmen had just finished reading A Separate Peace by John Knowles, and they were completing a little end of the unit art project where they draw what they think would make a good book cover for the novel. As part of the assignment, they had to put the title and author’s name on their drawing.

Student 1: “What’s the author’s name again?”
Havig: “John Knowles.” (Writing it up on the board.)
Student 2: “Ooh, is he related to Beyonce?”
Havig (with back still turned to the class): “Yes.”
Student 3: “Really?!”
Havig: “No.”

Moment 2:
A student in 5th period was talking about the neighborhood that her dad lives in which is apparently not the greatest neighborhood.
Student: “With all the crackers everywhere…”
Havig: “Did you really just call people crackers?”
Student: “Did I? Crackheads. That’s what I meant, crackheads.”

Later in the same conversation, I after I explained that I don’t live in nicest of neighborhoods either…
Student 1: “So do you seem normal in your neighborhood? Like everyone is so weird, you must seem normal.”
Student 2: “ish.”
Havig: “Thanks for that.”

Moment 3:
We were just starting a new assignment.
Student 1: “Is this going to be fun?”
Havig: “I think so.”
Student 2: “That means it won’t be.”

Honors English II
Moment 4:
Upon starting the Shakespeare unit.
Student 1: “Wait, it’s (Julius Caesar) a play?”
Student 2: “Shakespeare tends to be plays.”
Student 3: “That’s how he rolls.”

Moment 5:
A student was telling another story about her family’s odd happenings. Keep in mind that she has a particularly interesting family set up.
Havig: “Wait, your ex-stepmother’s fiancé?”
Student: “Yep.”
Havig: “Just checking. Please continue with your story.”

Moment 6:
Student 1 was talking about a foreign film she had seen.
Student 1: “It’s not a chick-flick, but it’s a romance.”
Student 2: “If it’s a romance, it IS a chick-flick.”
Havig: “Not necessarily. You can have romance without being all, Where the Heart is.”
Student 3: “Like James Bond.”
Havig: “Exactly!”

Moment 7:
The students had just started reading Julius Caesar, and we were talking about the character Cassius. One student thought Cassius was a woman for the first part of Act I. A second student pointed out how Cassius butters up Brutus to join the conspiracy by complimenting him and such.
Student 2: “Guys don’t do that. That’s a total girl thing to do.”

Moment 8:
The Julius Caesar portion of the Shakespeare unit happened to occur over mid April.
Student to Havig: “Beware the Ides of April.”
Havig: “Wait, isn’t that today!?”
Later in the same period after the student’s proclamation, another student leaned back against the bar that attaches the chair of her desk to the desk top and broke it clean off. Spooky.

Stay tuned for vocab quiz drawings. I've got some great ones to share.

ECMOA for March 16-27

Phew, it's been quite the month. Here are the moments leading up to Spring Break.

Moment 1:
Student 1 had some kind of wound on his ankle, and he peeled off the gauze during class. For some reason unknown to decent humanity, he started smelling the gauze.

Havig: “Did you just smell that again?”
Student 2: “You’re smelling that?!”
Havig: “Twice!”
Student 3: “Ugh, that’s disgusting.”
Student 1: “It smells like mentholatum.”
Student 2: “Why do you keep doing that?!”
The conversation calmed down a bit.
Student 2: “There is nothing worse than seeing someone pick off their own scab.”
Havig: “It’s worse if they eat it.”
Student 2: “Ahhhh!!!”
Havig: “Little kids do that.”
Student 3: “Thanks a lot. (putting down food) I was going to eat some craisins, but not any more.”

Moment 2:
These are all from my 5th period English I class.

“It was supposed to be nice today!”
Student wearing shorts while it was snowing outside in response to comments from other students.

“Can you use Law & Order as an example instead? I like that show better.”
Student after I used CSI to explain their vocab word, latent.

Student 1: “Hey, I heard you used to be a bit of a chunkster.”
Student 2: “Who me? (smiles sheepishly) Yeah.”

Havig: “So I’m going to read chapter nine to you.”
Student: “You are? Shut up! (pauses) Not literally.”

A kid switched schools from our district rival school. He was proclaiming that BGHS was way better than Prairie. The student in front of him turned around, looked at him, and swiped his soda bottle onto the floor in response. I just thought it was pretty funny.

Moment 3:
And not to be outdone, these moments are from my 1st period English I class.

“Did you fart? ‘Cause you just blew me away.”
This, apparently is a pick up line. No word yet on how well it works.
“What are you trying to say? Use your words. You’re not five.”
One student to another student who was gesturing to another student.

Moment 4:
One student in my 4th period class uttered these words of brilliance in an explanation of me.
“I think I figured you out. You have two emotions: sarcasm and annoyance, and that’s it. No sympathy, sadness, depression, anger. Well, annoyance can lead to anger. But still, no happy or anything. Just sarcasm and annoyance.

I have to say, I have never heard anyone so succinctly explain me. I’m not sure if my mom knows me that well.

Wish us all luck as we tackle the last few WASL tests for the year. Have a great week!

Prairie Talent Show

Here are the videos from my comedy routine for Prairie's Key Club Talent Show.

Part I

Part II

Part III

ECMOA for February 16 - March 13, 2009

There are only two weeks until Spring Break! Not that I'm counting...

Moment 1:

My freshmen completed an assignment called the Who Am I? box where they share important objects or photos that tell the class more about them. My fifth period class was talking about what kinds of objects they were going to include in their boxes, and a few girls were talking about the Bratz Dolls of their childhoods.

Student 1: They (Bratz Dolls) do not dress appropriately.”
Havig: “Not a lot of meeting the dress code.”
Student 2: “That’s because they don’t dress. The don’t wear clothes.”
Student 3: “I don’t like Bratz Dolls. They’re ugly.”
Student 2: “And they used to try to be Barbies. Oh wait, that was just me playing.”

Moment 2:
“Can I borrow a Band-Aid, but forever. Like not give it back?”
Personally, that’s the only kind of borrowing of Band-Aids of which I approve.

Moment 3:
One of the students in 4th period made a future life plan for another student documenting her future marriage and children. There was some conversation while one student was trying to explain it to another student. At some point in time, the student whose life had been planned mentioned her cousin getting married. Another student responed:
“What? You’re marrying your cousin? I know you’re from Amboy, but seriously.”

Moment 4:
Sophomores are reading Don Quixote at the moment, and one student was talking about a quote in the novel.
Student 1: “I don’t speak French. I speak normal.”
Student 2: “It’s in Spanish.”
Student 1: "Oh."

Moment 5:
I’m trying to convince my 5th period freshmen that The Office is really funny and worth watching. They do not agree with me.
“Oh, is that an inside joke from The Office? That’s why it’s not funny to us.”

Moment 6:
I showed my freshmen the opening clip from Dead Poet’s Society as part of background information for A Separate Peace. There are bagpipes playing at the opening ceremony.
“Oh, the music of my people!”

Moment 7:
Now, my 5th period class is quite the bunch of distractible kids. One student asked which of two students who sit up by the front are more distracting.
Havig: “I think Student 1 is more distracting than Student 2.”
Student 2: “Thanks, I think. Wait, did you say attractive?”
Havig: “No. (laughing) I said distracting.”
Student 2: “Oh, I thought you said attractive.”
Havig: “That would be a little weird, wouldn’t it?”
Student 2: “Yeah, I guess it would.”

Moment 8:
Student 1 is in a marketing class, and had made an advertisement for Cheerios.
Student 1: “If you say this walking down the hall, would you buy Cheerios?”
Havig: “Well, I like Cheerios anyway, so I wouldn’t need much convincing.”
Student 2: “Ooh, me too. I love Cheerios. I took the 6-week challenge, and my cholesterol went down.”

Have a fantastic week!

ECMOA for the Weeks of February 2-13th, 2009

Late starts can be a beautiful thing. Not having to go into work for two hours simply because the weather is bad is seriously one of the major perks to being a teacher. We had a late start on Tuesday, and 10th, and it was marvelous. The only that could have made this particular late start even better is that they didn’t announce it until I was already eating breakfast. On a perfect late start, I get to sleep in a bit. Ce la vie. I did get into school year well before the students showed up, and one of the things I did was bleach wipe all of the student desks. There is some nasty illness going around, and I don’t want to get sick.

Moment 1:
My sophomores just finished reading some Arthurian Legends, and in one of the class discussions, it was noted that Guinevere is basically the Yoko Ono of Camelot.

Moment 2:
Student: “You know how when cows eat other cows, they get mad cow’s disease?”
Havig: “Yeah?”
Student: “Does that happen when people eat people?”
Havig: “Well, Mad Cow is when they eat the brains, so it’s a little different. (Pause.) Are you interested in a little cannibalism?”
Student: “Um, no. My sister was talking about it.”
Havig: “Is she?”
Student (hesitantly): “I don’t think so.”

Moment 3:
My students tend to draw pictures or write random things on the back of their vocab quizzes. They are a pretty creative bunch overall, but there was one this week that led to a moment of awesomeness.

Next to a large smiley face: “My grandmother hated smiley faces because she thought it was a gang symbol for drugs.”

Havig: “That reminds me of my mom. I like to wear baseball hats on occasion. Now, I grew up in White Salmon which has about 2000 people, so of course we had a huge gang problem.”
Student (with a lot of seriousness): “Really?”
Long pause with several students snickering.
Havig to student: “That was sarcasm.”
Student: “Oh.”

Have a good Week!